I grew an early fascination with taking photographs. My first camera was a Canon Powershot, had a DSLR (also Canon - yes, we were loyal), and a GoPro 3, all gifted by my parents btw! Since one, I had no extra money for my hobbies as a student, and two, they just saw how I loved taking photos during family trips & reunions, and wanted to be supportive of what I loved doing. Disclaimer: I am no pro. But when iPhones came into play, it made handheld cameras a history for me – until lately.

I think it was the pandemic that got me back to taking actual photos.

Pandemic = the year 2020, when COVID-19 shook the world. Everyone was in lockdown. Science worked hard to study and resolve while hospitals filled up and deaths tolled high. It was an invisible enemy that took so much from everyone's lives.

This period in time became a reminder that life is indeed finite. And that if we were to live, we should live the “best” versions of our lives - the ones we’d be happy with and proud of. But what is this version if we won’t be able to revisit glimpses of it? Personally, photographs help me remember. And as someone very sentimental and hated forgetting, I tend to take a lot.

Since my DSLR was already having problems & I missed holding a photo tool other than my phone, I bought an M20 to start again.

My cameras have names: Canon which is my M20, Jayda, a DJI OP3, and now my third one,..

…Mustard – ladies and gentlemen, my first film since ages: a Kodak Ektar H35.

There are a lot about photos taken on film that drew me. Though tbh, I initially eyed for a camera from the Fuji XE or XT series, just cause. But a good friend* who had been constantly sharing her film journey and actual photos to us, got me into opting for a film camera instead.

Imperfect quality. In a world that seems to worship beauty and perfection, going back to something basic as a 35mm film somehow brings me back to my best era – the 90s. It was a period with less pressure and criticisms, more private and genuine.
Retro feel. I swear I can talk endlessly about how the old days were so much better, and there's nothing like having something nostalgic handy to remind you of those. Non-digital (my eyes will thank me for this), uncomplicated + grainy, hued photos somehow take me to the old times that weren’t necessarily easier, but felt more real, warm and peaceful.
Pure joy. I am not sure if joy is the perfect word, but with it, you just take that photo. No endless retakes trying to get your “perfect” angle (if that even exists for most), no hours on your phone trying to edit beautify, no extra time spent writing captions for social media, and no obsessive checking how many likes it's gotten after. Won’t you agree how exhausting all these are?
I'm fully aware how it's become depressingly normal nowadays, but may I just remind you (as a tita, ofc!) that too much screen time will not work any wonders to our own health and relationships. With film, the focus shifts - you’re capturing, never impressing and updating the whole world about your life realtime. And that, gives you all the space to soak in the moment.

I have my first film loaded and I honestly don’t know what I’ll be capturing the most or how often, but I do hope it would help me stay even more present.

I'll make sure to post actual photos when my first roll is done. Although I do hope I loaded it right #help!

P.S. Good friend* = Lia.
Thank you @kosmiklia for ushering my retro soul 👻 into film!

#pov i bought a film camera.

#pov i lost my wonder.